Escaflowne at the Mall
by Ztarlight
Summary: A quiet shopping experience turns into an afternoon of pure insanity.


  
(Escaflowne and all related characters do not belong to me. Neither do any of the stores mentioned in this fanfic.)  
  
ESCAFLOWNE AT THE MALL  
  
  
  
Van, Allen, Hitomi, Merle, and Millerna all walked through the main entrance of the Finelia Blow-Your-Cash-Area.(That is what you do at malls,   
right? At least, that's whatI do.) Merle eyed the Gentle Jungle pet shop and got an idea. She grabbed Van, threw him on her back, and scampered  
off. "OK, Van. I want a catnip ball, a new scratching post, a rubber mouse..."  
  
Hitomi smiled at her surroundings. She was looking forward to a quiet shopping experience by herself.Allen wanted to take Hitomi to Kay Jewelers  
for an engagement ring. Millerna, however, had other plans. She pulled out her J.C.Penny's card, grabbed Allen, and walked off. "C'mon, Allen. I   
need some new dresses."  
  
Allen screamed as he was dragged off by the princess."No, you pink, frilly whore! Unhand me! Hitomeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!" Unfortunately for Allen,   
Hitomi was off in la-la land, skipping happily toward the other end of the mall.  
  
At the other end of the mall, Folken and Dilandau (yeah! :D ) were also entering the mall, wanting to forget their troubles for a while. "So, Dilandau,"  
said Folken acting regal,"what should we do first?"   
  
Dilly ran over to a window full of little cats. "Look, Folkie! KITTIES!!!" Dilly began to mutter cute little sayings under his breath.  
  
Folkie glared at him. "Don't diss the kitties!"   
  
"I'm not," Dilly answered. "I wuv dem too, yes I do...I say we rescue those cats and then burn the place. MWAHAHAHAHA! MOERO! MOERO!   
MWAHAHAHA------but first we must also free the snails from the evil fish tank!! ARE YOU WITH ME, FOLKIE?!?!?!?!  
  
Folken fidgeted nervously."Please don't call me that in public."  
  
"ANSWER ME YOU CYBORG FREAK!!!!!!!!!"  
  
".....................ok, but you can get the snails on your own."  
  
Dilly's wild laughter carried far and clear throughout the shopping center. Hitomi, however,paid no attention to the pyro-crazed maniac who was   
being approached cautiously by men in white coats.  
  
Hitomi looked around Claire's and examined some of the costume jewlery. Some of the necklaces looked strangely familier.. "What the...?"  
  
In Penny's, Millerna put on another dress. "How does this look?" she asked Allen, who automatically replied, "Fine."   
  
Millerna sighed in disgust. "No,it doesn't. It makes me look fat," she whined for the 210th time. She ran back to the stall.   
  
{Actually you look like a hippo no matter what you wear, but that goes without saying.}, Allen thought. He yawned and checked his watch. 3:15.   
Everyone was gonna meet by the elevator at 4. "If I sneak out now, I'll get some manly time before check-in." Needless to say, he bolted.  
  
Back outside the pet shop, two men ran away screaming with their now charred-black coats. Dilly laughed at his most recent triumph   
(Avoiding the asylum---again!) and rushed into the pet shop.  
  
There, he found Van holding 8 tons worth of cat-care items. Next to him was Merle, digging through a bin of catnip balls with the little bell. (^__^)   
"How DARE they not have purple with green polka dots?!" Her eyes grew big and shiny. "And I'm so close to completing my collection,too, I will  
NOT stand for this!!" Happily, Merle scampered into the storage room. Soon, maniacal mewing could be heard.  
  
Dilly shook his head at Merle's pathetic attempt to sound crazy. {That girl neds some serious practice.} He ran past them to the giant aquarium   
at the back of the store. He pulled out his trusty flamethrower (he never goes anywhere without it!) and burned the glass. {Why isn't it melting?} he  
thought. Confused and mad, he swung it as hard as he could against the tank. It shattered. Dilly became even more full of glee at the popping   
sound of pulling the snails off the glass. POP! POP! POP!  
  
Even though the glass didn't burn, several banners around it did. Fire soon spread throughout the store, and then the mall, right near the display  
window. Dilly's eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! KITTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Dilly grabbed the snail bag and threw all the cats into a sack. Then he grabbed Folkie who was drooling over the Sweet Factory. "C'mon, you   
stupid dork! I like to burn, but I don't like to GET burned!" The two left.  
  
Van and Merle left, and found a raving mad Hitomi outside of Claire's. She held out her hand, which held several gold necklaces from which hung   
pink oval-shaped pendants. "Those damn jerks! They copied my charm and I didn't even get royalties!!!" Van sighed, grabbed Hitomi with one  
arm, Merle with the other, and ran.  
  
Millerna, finally satisfied with a dress, went to buy it. But then a fire jet shot through the air and barbequed it. "It so figures," she muttered. She found  
Allen in the sports section watching a game of Guymelef tennis. She grabbed his arm. "Let's go. It's getting hot, and you know how I get when I'm hot."   
  
Allenheld his nose as Millerna dragged him off. {Oh, yeah, I know. Nice and sweaty.}  
  
From their aircraft thingy, Folken and Dilandau watched the rest of the mall crumble to pieces. (Actually, Folkie watched, Dilly played with his new   
pets.) Folken sighed at the mushroom cloud that began to form. "You know, Dilandau, this is not how I wanted to spend my afternoon."  
  
Dilly cackled insanely. "But it took our minds off of our troubles, didn't it?"  
  



End file.
